


two can play

by hitsusven (svensationalist)



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, KuroFai Olympics, M/M, Outo Country, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15951173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svensationalist/pseuds/hitsusven
Summary: The story is about a man named Fai who dreamed of opening a café.  There would be many delicious desserts, and drinks in pretty patterned cups, and large windows for the soft sunlight to stream through, and a pockmarked dartboard for the slow and lazy days, and a hidden stash of alcohol for the slower and lazier nights, and a well-loved baby grand off to the side for the occasional whimsical melody...Most importantly, he wouldn't be alone.*It's easy to play pretend in the virtual reality of Outo Online.  Written for the 2018 KuroFai Olympics: Gods vs Machines.





	two can play

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first year participating in the KuroFai Olympics and just… writing a longer TRC fic in general so I’m a bit nervous ahaha. I’m part of Team Machines for the prompt “Won (Korean): The reluctance on a person’s part to let go of an illusion”. I hope you enjoy the fic! 
> 
> Content Warnings: Some violence, minor character death, depression and suicidal thoughts. Major spoilers warning because I will be making various nods to canon events and backstories, especially Fai’s. If you are disturbed by murder and stalking, please skip the right-aligned section beginning with “the story is about misfortune”.

 

 _It may be that all games are silly.  But then, so are humans._   
— Robert Lynd   


 

* * *

  


It does not start with this: a small café rattling with the force of one man's furious roar, followed by a bright peal of laughter and the frantic _thunk-thunk-thunk_ of thunderous footsteps, crisp morning air punctuated by _get back here you fucking idiot_ and _but Kuro-pon is so scary waa~_ and other such nonsense in a song-and-dance routine that all the regulars are fondly familiar with.   
  
Nor with this: bright burning eyes glaring hotly into blue ones, a peppy _you don’t like the coffee, Kuro-tan?_ , a snarled _my name is Kurogane, dumbass, this isn't a fucking Starbucks where you write my name wrong on the cup, we're the only ones in here_ (then the sly smile of a man finding a new game within a game to play, matched with the growing glower of another man realizing that this won't be the last time he's made a fool of).   
  
And not this: a lonely man in an artificially pristine city hall, brushing cherry blossom petals out of his windswept hair and off his shoulders, the cheerful chorus of _welcome to Outo!_ still echoing in his mind, and after being prompted he reaches across the desk for a pen to write down a name that does not belong to him.   
  
_This_ is where it starts: a bitingly cold winter day, snow gently drifting from the grey heavens to the greyer earth, and two silent halves of a pair — one white-knuckled and refusing to cry lest he never stops; the other inside a casket under a blanket of bouquets, a bright spot of colour in colourless surroundings, soon scheduled to be swallowed up by the soil.

 

*

 

_Welcome to Outo, the country of cherry blossoms!  Make your dreams a reality._

_Please state your name and present your identification to log in._

 

« FAI FLUORITE »

 

*

 

"Sweet crap again?" Kurogane grumbles without any preamble, dropping himself heavily in his usual seat and ignoring the mildly scandalized look on his partner's face.  He eyes the breakfast already waiting on the bar with more suspicion than innocent waffles and hot beverages deserve.

  
  
Fai smiles sunnily in the exact way that he knows will annoy Kurogane the most.  He doesn't have to look at the clock behind him to know that they're here at exactly 7:00am again; his favourite customers are always punctual and predictable.

  
  
Xiaolang sits in the chair next to Kurogane, grinning sheepishly.  "Good morning, Fai," he says, ever polite, as if to make up for his friend's constant belligerence.  He looks around the café and sags slightly when he doesn't see his favourite waitress. He clears his throat casually.  "Ah... Princess isn't here today?" he asks with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

  
  
The poor boy looks so obviously disappointed that Fai decides not to tease him about how smitten he is — this time.  "Mn, afraid not. She said she has to help her brother with something or the other, so she couldn't be online this early."  He grins and leans on the counter. "That means it's just the three of us here today, lucky~" He hears a disgruntled _tch_ sort of noise from Kurogane and his grin widens.  Punctual and predictable.

 

Kurogane stabs a strawberry with great viciousness, resolutely ignoring Fai's applause for 'slaying his enemy'.  "Don't dawdle, kid. We need to get your gear level up in time for the raid tonight."

  
  
"Who says _dawdle_ nowadays?" Fai chimes in.

  
  
There's the familiar sound of a knife screeching across plate.  "I just did."

  
  
"Are you secretly an old man, Kuro-puu?"

  
  
" _My name is Kurogane!_ "

  
  
"Thank you for the breakfast!" Xiaolang interrupts loudly.  "How much do we owe you?"

  
  
Fai flaps a hand dismissively.  "Don't worry about it, my treat this time."  Incredulous red eyes slant towards him, so he adds: "I was testing out a new recipe anyways so there's no need to be so _suspicious_ about my generosity, Kuro-tan.  How was it?"

  
  
"Too sweet," Kurogane mutters.

  
  
"It was delicious," Xiaolang says before Fai can dramatically launch himself into a soliloquy about how unappreciated and wasted his culinary talents are on a man as boorish as Kurogane.  "The whipped cream was a nice addition."

  
  
"Mokona suggested it.  I'll let her know you liked her idea."

 

(Nobody mentions the conspicuous lack of whipped cream on Kurogane's plate; the knowledge that lactose intolerance carries over to virtual reality with extreme prejudice is a lesson that none of them need to relive after the unfortunate hot chocolate incident.)

  
  
More customers begin to trickle in, dragging Fai's attention away.  But no matter how busy he gets running the café without Princess' help, he always finds time to sneak glances towards the kiji hunting pair sitting at the end of the bar.  He smiles secretly to himself when Kurogane — despite his complaints — finishes every last bite of his breakfast.

 

*

 

The way they all met was entirely unremarkable.  

 

Fai needed someone to help him with the café. He thought of a girl with a smile like sunshine and texted his favourite student with the idea.  Sakura’s reply was so endearingly enthusiastic that it was nearly unintelligibly rife with clumsy-fingered typos. They reasoned that tutoring would be more fun in virtual reality anyways, like most things.  A steady supply of snacks while studying was definitely an incentive.

 

It became clear that building a café, even a virtual one, was a task too monumental for only two people no matter how hard they worked.  Fai did odd jobs here and there to save up enough money to purchase an AI shop assistant (“Being a recipe book is one of Mokona's 108 Secret Techniques!”), and also hire other players to help with construction through Hitsuzen’s wish board.  He jokingly requested “at least one strapping young man with biceps as large as my head” to amuse the store owner.

 

Yuuko smiled mischievously. “And also taller than you?”

 

“Of course,” Fai replied cheerily, thinking she was playing along with the joke. His mistake, since the player she sent his way most definitely met all his criteria.  Even the biceps.

 

“I'm going to strangle that witch the next time I see her for putting me up to this” were the first words out of Tall Dark and Handsome’s mouth as he crumpled Yuuko's note in his hand.

 

Fai decided he liked him immediately, which meant that he had to be absolutely insufferable in his presence. He merrily butchered Kurogane’s name the moment he learned it.  He draped himself across objects that needed to be moved elsewhere. He kept trying to steal the sword on the ninja’s waist despite delightfully detailed threats of dismemberment.  

 

Sakura logged in to find her chemistry tutor using a broomstick to fend off a murderous katana-swinging stranger while a bunny-like creature bounced around chanting _death match! death match!_  Needless to say, she was mildly horrified.  Perhaps more so after Fai explained that “the big puppy is here to fix the roof because he's a good boy”, though the horror could probably be attributed to his near decapitation after that line.  Cheekily pointing out that “PvP outside of designated areas makes you a bad dog” did absolutely nothing to dampen Kurogane’s violent urges.

 

Fai was fairly certain that Kurogane would never return to the café after finishing his job if it weren't for Xiaolang.  It was obvious that Sakura and Xiaolang knew each other offline, judging by their surprised gasps of recognition when the latter came to assist his kiji-hunting partner.  It was even more obvious that the two teenagers were ridiculously crushing on each other, considering their faces were almost as red as Kurogane’s eyes.

 

In a moment of impulsive charity towards teen romantic comedies, Fai told the kiji hunters they were always welcome at the café since they helped get it ready for opening.  He was amused to see that the other adult in the room was equally weak to highschooler puppy eyes; Xiaolang seemed very pleased when Kurogane begrudgingly agreed that they could visit in the future.

 

It became a routine: Kurogane and Xiaolang would visit at 7:00am, before the teens needed to head to school.  Fai would make them food with Sakura’s and Mokona's help. Kurogane would try and make the act of eating breakfast look as cool as possible, which Fai would mercilessly tease him over.  They'd argue while Xiaolang and Sakura worried in the background and Mokona cheered. The teens would exchange nervous but adorable goodbyes, Kurogane would emptily threaten to never return again, then Fai and Mokona would send them off with a wave.

 

They made for a strange group. But… Fai liked it.

 

*

 

Fai loves Princess — he really, truly does — but he does not love the way she accidentally tripped on her own foot and knocked over a chair which clattered onto a broom that Mokona was perched on before being catapulted into a fragile vase with alarming speed and a giddy _wheeeeeee~_  

 

“Ah,” is all he manages, blinking slowly at the scattered flowers strewn across the floor amidst jagged shards and a steadily growing puddle.  Mokona bounces up and down in the background, chanting _again! again!_ with enviable enthusiasm; it makes the whole scene even more bizarre.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Princess says miserably, wringing her apron between her nervous fingers.

 

“It's okay.”  Fai isn't sure if it is, but his smile betrays none of his misgivings.  His pulse thunders in his ears, trying to drown out the sound of breaking glass.  “Nobody got hurt and it was just an accident.”

 

“Mokona had a lot of fun!”  The tiny creature bounces towards Fai, dustpan balanced on her head.  She seems no worse for wear after colliding with a floral arrangement.

 

Fai thanks Mokona, relieving her of the dustpan and retrieving the broom from the floor.  “I’ll clean this up, Princess. How about you make sure all the tables are set?” A quick glance at the clock confirms his suspicions. “Our dynamic doggy duo will be here soon~”

 

“Princess is blushing!  Princess is blushing!” Mokona twirls around innocently.

 

“Mokona, don’t tease her too much.”

 

“But embarrassing teenagers is one of Mokona’s 108 Secret Techniques!”

 

Fai ignores the notification in the corner of his eye confirming that the AI is telling the truth about her random hidden talents; judging by Princess’ growing blush, she earned the same achievement.  Thankfully, Mokona abandons her mischievous programming and they manage to get the café open in time.

 

Unusually, only Xiaolang arrives at 7:00am.  “Sorry Fai… Kurogane has an appointment so he can’t come today.”

 

Fai blinks, puzzled.  “Why are you apologizing?”  His confusion only grows when Xiaolang darts a nervous glance at Princess, who seems just as flustered all of a sudden.  “Ah… never mind. Since I already made Kuro-chan’s breakfast, Princess can have it so it doesn’t go to waste!”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want it?”  Princess fidgets with her apron. “You already made me food earlier.”

 

Not for the first time, Fai feels achingly grateful for the kindness Princess extends to him, even though he doesn’t deserve it.  “Yes I’m sure, go and eat with Xiaolang.”

 

Princess shoots him a grateful smile and takes the opportunity to catch up with her crush.  “Did you figure out what was happening with your missing character data?”

 

Xiaolang shakes his head sheepishly.  “No, so I contacted support about it. I don’t think anyone hacked my account… They can’t exactly duplicate it or access anything without my voice and DNA.  The game security features would just lock them out.” He sighs. “I hope they don’t have to reset anything…”

 

“I’m sure everything will be alright!”  Princess offers a reassuring smile; it’s reciprocated with an obvious blush noticed by everybody except its recipient.

 

It’s a heartwarming sight.  Fai does his best not to feel envious.

 

“It’s quiet without Kuro-pon,” Mokona comments, hopping onto Fai’s shoulder.

 

It is, but Fai won’t admit it.

 

*

 

“You tried to run over Seishirou?” Fai asks, struggling not to laugh inappropriately.  He imagines he’d fail if Princess was here; she would look absolutely appalled and it’s hilarious just imagining it.  “Right in front of _City Hall_?”

 

Kurogane scowls at him over the rim of his mug. “Yes.”

 

“ _Why._ ”

 

“Why _not_ , he’s a fucking asshole —”

 

“Kurogane got annoyed that he kept asking us where Subaru is instead of answering our questions,” Xiaolang says, bravely forging on despite the glare directed his way.  “So he said _if you’re looking for a Subaru then it’s right here, you_ —” he coughs, and Fai has a feeling Kurogane called Seishirou something delightfully profane, “— and then kept backing into him until he logged out.”  Xiaolang frowns at his partner. “That was very rude.”

 

Fai nearly loses it right there at Xiaolang’s deadpan condemnation.  “Yes Kuro-pii, that was _very_ rude.  This is Outo Online, not Grand Theft Outo.”

 

“Motherfucker was wasting our time,” Kurogane mutters, as if that justifies hitting a man with a car even if it’s in VR.  “And he’s creepy.”

 

“Seishirou isn't _that_ bad,” Xiaolang protests.

 

Kurogane ignores him.  “Whatever. Anyways, he was fucking useless for info and we still have nothing to go on.  I’d rather not owe the witch another favour.”

 

Xiaolang winces.  “Yes… Yuuko does charge a lot for guides.”

 

“Trouble with a new raid?” Fai asks.

 

“It’s a Ro-1.”  Xiaolang opens his hunt list and shows Fai a picture. The kiji is an ugly thing with lengthy claws and acidic abilities. “We’re not sure how to prepare… Kurogane and I don’t have many levels in magic.  I was hoping Seishirou would know something since he’s done a lot of hunts, but, um...”

 

“Kuro-sama made a violent car pun?”

 

“... Yes.”

 

“Tch. Well, what do _you_ think about the kiji?” Kurogane asks suddenly, turning to Fai.

 

Fai smiles thinly.  “I’m not a raider like you two.”  He points lazily above Kurogane’s head where his title would be displayed if he had his HUD turned on.  “Why is a Lord of Suwa asking the rankless owner of a coffee shop?”

 

“Just take a look again and see if you get any ideas.”

 

“Fine~”  It’s annoying how suspicious Kurogane is sometimes.  Fai makes a big show of reading the Ro-1’s sparse hunt information, despite already remembering how to defeat it the moment he saw which one it was.  He sighs. “Sorry, I can’t come up with anything. But I think I saw something on its forehead?”

 

“Forehead?”  Xiaolang zooms in frantically, nearly going cross-eyed with how close he brings the hunt list to his face.  “Oh! You’re right — there’s a jewel in the centre of its head! I think it might be a Ryanban seal!”

 

“Map will have lots of illusions then.  Fucking pain in the ass.” Kurogane looks like he wants to say something to Fai, but Xiaolang starts excitedly brainstorming ways to bypass the kiji’s magical defences in a rapidfire babble.  “... Let’s go back to the library before you explode,” he suggests, looking vaguely amused.

 

“Good luck!” Fai says cheerfully as the kiji hunters leave.  He gets a notification for a new private message a few minutes later.

 

_ >> [Kurogane] How the fuck did you know it was a Kiishimu so quickly? _

 

Fai ignores it.

 

*

 

It's not often that the CEO of PiffleCorp spontaneously shows up in her own MMO, but when she does, she knows how to make a grand entrance.  Fai idly wonders for the umpteenth time how the dev team managed to program the physics in her elaborate hairstyle when she bursts into Cat’s Eye, sleeves billowing behind her and followed by a trail of sparkles.  
  
"Tsukuyomi!" Princess exclaims, putting down a tray to rush towards the door. "I didn't know you were coming today!  Did you need something?"

 

“To see you, of course!  This uniform is so _cute_!”  Predictably, Tsukuyomi pulls out a camera and begins taking photos of Princess from a variety of angles.  “Well, I’m also meeting one of my employees. But I figured I’d drop by and say hello!”

 

Fai still finds it strange that the two girls are best friends, considering their vastly different backgrounds.  He’s thankful that Tsukuyomi doesn’t bring crowds of bodyguards with her in virtual reality like she does in real life.  They would _not_ fit in his café.  “Do you usually have business meetings online?” he asks, curious.

 

Tsukuyomi titters mischievously.  “Oh he doesn’t know I’m coming here either.”

 

Before Fai can ask what she means by that, somebody else answers his question.

 

“Tomoyo?! What are you doing here?”  Kurogane glares suspiciously. “Aren’t we meeting in two hours?”

 

“So rude, Kuro-puu,” Fai says cheerfully, trying to hide his surprise that his best and surliest customer apparently works at fucking _PiffleCorp_.  “Don’t you remember that it’s polite to call people by their usernames in Outo?  Not that you usually use names at all. Etiquette isn’t your strong suit, eh?”

 

“Shut up, idiot — it’s weird calling her something else when I use her actual name offline.”

 

For some reason, Tsukuyomi looks absolutely delighted by this exchange.  “Are they always like this?”

 

“Yes!” Mokona helpfully answers.  “Fai and Kuro-tan always bicker like a married couple!  Mokona thinks it is very entertaining!”

 

Kurogane splutters indignantly; Fai feels inclined to to do the same.  Instead, he clears his throat awkwardly and asks Tsukuyomi, “Would you like one of the tables near the back?  It’d give you some more privacy if you need it.”

 

Tsukuyomi smiles sweetly.  “It’s alright, we’re not discussing anything confidential.  Let’s sit here!” She takes a seat at the bar and continues taking pictures of Princess, who seems mildly embarrassed by all the attention like usual.

 

Kurogane sighs but sits next to Tsukuyomi anyways.  “So, what do you want — I make my report now instead of later?  Couldn’t it wait?”

 

“Was I interrupting something?” Tsukuyomi asks innocently.

 

“ _No!_ ”

 

Fai has no idea why Kurogane’s ears are pink and ignores the mild disappointment that it was Tsukuyomi who caused it.  “Here’s some tea,” he says brightly, feeling a bit out of his depth after witnessing this very strange employer-employee relationship.  “Please let me know if you want anything else, Ms. Tsukuyomi.”

 

“Princess recommended the apple pie, so I would like that, please.”  Tsukuyomi turns to Kurogane with a doleful sigh. “Fai is so much politer than you!”

 

“You think _he’s_ polite?!”

 

“Just ‘politer’,” Fai says, placing their breakfasts in front of them, “which isn’t very difficult.”

 

“See?! How is that polite?!”

 

Tsukuyomi daintily sips her tea.  “Well that’s enough about manners.  What are your thoughts on the newest model?”

 

Kurogane grimaces.  “More responsive than the last one, but… not as comfortable.  It’s heavier so I can’t wear it as long without my shoulder flaring up.”

 

“Ah, I was afraid that’d be the case.” Tsukuyomi frowns.  “I will let the engineers know. Maybe we can use a different alloy?”

 

Fai shares a puzzled look with Princess.  She’s too polite to butt in, so he does it instead.  “My apologies, but… what are you talking about?”

 

Kurogane huffs quietly.  “Right — it hasn’t come up and the kid already knows, so I forgot to mention it.”  He rolls up his left sleeve, revealing the winding dragon tattoo on his arm. “It looks like this in Outo so you can’t tell, but my real left arm is amputated.  I test prosthetics built by PiffleCorp. Tomoyo is also looking into whether VR would be beneficial for rehabilitation, so I help other Outo users with disabilities.  Giving them tips on how to adjust to their prosthetics with gameplay, things like that.”

 

Fai almost says that Kurogane’s job suits him very well; Kurogane is a kind man and diligent (if unorthodox) teacher, even though he stubbornly refuses to admit it.  “Is that why you made poor Xiaolang wander all over Outo with an eyepatch one afternoon?” Fai asks instead, raising a teasing eyebrow. It’s safer than expressing what he thinks of the other man.

 

“Kid needed to get used to his new eye,” Kurogane grumbles, stabbing a piece of toast with his butter knife. “That was the fastest way!”

 

These are easier things to talk about; Fai immediately latches onto the opportunity to make fun of Kurogane for his gruff fondness towards Xiaolang and his unconventional teaching methods.  It’s easier to rile Kurogane up and fluster Princess and make both Tsukuyomi and Mokona laugh. It’s easier than thinking about how the more he knows about Kurogane, the more he starts to genuinely like him.

 

*

 

The story is nothing new: someone always leaves first, and someone is always left behind.  (It doesn't change the fact that it hurts, because he doesn't know what he is alone; from the very beginning there were two of them, and that's how they thought it would always be — but it wasn't, it isn’t, it will never be the same again.)

  
  
The story is nothing neat: someone loses his world, so he loses himself in a different world.  (He knows this is escapism, knows he's running away, but this is what he's good at: running and running and not looking back. He's afraid to stop because he knows what will catch up with him if he does.  He runs and runs with his past snapping at his heels, baying for blood.)

  
  
The story is nothing nice: a jealous fight, a shattered window, and someone falling —

 

The story is about a man named Fai who dreamed of opening a café.  There would be many delicious desserts, and drinks in pretty patterned cups, and large windows for the soft sunlight to stream through, and a pockmarked dartboard for the slow and lazy days, and a hidden stash of alcohol for the slower and lazier nights, and a well-loved baby grand off to the side for the occasional whimsical melody...

  
  
Most importantly, he wouldn't be alone.

 

*

 

“Why don't you play that more often?"  Kurogane jerks his head towards the piano.

  
  
"I don't know how," Fai starts to answer, but he stops when he hears a telltale _tch_.  "Kuro-chan is so mean, asking a question and then interrupting the answer."

  
  
"You're full of shit," Kurogane says, blunt as ever.  “You know how to play, at least a little.”

  
  
The only time Fai has touched the piano in front of the other man was that night they returned from Clover months ago; all he did was open the lid, tap a few notes, and then close the lid again when he couldn't bear to look at the keys any longer.  He remembers Mokona's and Princess' meowing disappointment, Xiaolang's bemused expression, and Kurogane off to the side frowning into his sake.

  
(He also remembers waking up the next morning with a hangover and no recollection of how he got to his bed, but knowing with alarming certainty who was responsible for putting him there.  He didn't get up until he caught himself wishing he didn't forget. He can't allow himself to think like that.)

  
  
"I have no idea why you'd say that when I've never played anything," Fai says lightly.

  
  
Kurogane just Looks at him over his glass.  "You were drunk as fuck and stupid all night, but once you sat down... it looked like you were doing something you’re used to."  He falls silent as if thinking.

  
  
Not for the first time, Fai is mildly perturbed and irritated by Kurogane's uncanny observational ability.  "That's a bit creepy, Kuro-pon," he says halfheartedly; they've done this enough times to know that Fai is deflecting out of habit, and Kurogane will relentlessly barrel through the smoke and mirrors with his usual sharp-eyed determination.

  
(Not for the first time, Fai wonders when he started giving in so easily around this infuriatingly stubborn man.)

 

He braces himself for the inevitable interrogation: _why did you stop playing_ or _why have an instrument you won't us_ e or _why are you like this? a coward, a fool, a glutton for punishing yourself with things you want and can't have_ ; readies a false-bright smile and another stupid nickname to redefine the line in the sand.

  
But nothing happens; Kurogane just sits there in his usual seat, drink in hand, watching but silent.

  
"That's it?" Fai finds himself saying, torn between feeling incredulous, unsettled, or — absurd as it is — _cheated_ somehow.

  
  
"What."

  
  
Fai clenches his fist, hidden behind the bar; his fingernails dig crescents into his palms.  "You're not going to ask me anything?"

  
  
Kurogane eyes him suspiciously.  "Do you _want_ me to?"  He huffs when Fai shakes his head.  "Then make up your damn mind."

  
  
" _Why_ aren't you going to ask me anything?  Nothing stopped you before," Fai points out, a tad bitterly.

  
  
Kurogane ignores the question.  "I’m trying something different," he finally says, voice oddly calm in a way that cuts more deeply than his usual gruffness.

  
Fai is still trying to decipher that answer hours after Kurogane leaves the café.

  
*

 

The request is curt, unexpected, and dismally worded, like all of Kurogane's infrequent messages in the past: _Need sub for tonight_. Normally Fai would be sorely tempted to make a joke, especially when it writes itself, but he isn't in the joking mood considering the message's implications.  He was hoping that Kurogane forgot his slip-up, but he never was the lucky sort and it's admittedly foolish to think otherwise. It doesn't stop him from pretending he has absolutely no idea what Kurogane’s message is talking about.

  
  
"I don't know what you expect me to do in a combat trial, Kuro-tan," Fai says, lifting an eyebrow when the surly ninja appears alone at the café. "Bake the kiji to death into a rather macabre pastry?  Make some latte art to provide a cat-shaped distraction? Give it gastronomical distress if it also has unfortunately vicious lactose intolerance?"

  
  
"Talk it to death," Kurogane mutters, doing a poor job of feigning nonchalance when Fai laughs. He doesn’t object when handed a steaming mug of tea.  “The kid needed to rewrite part of his paper so he won’t be able to play tonight. He feels bad about missing the Ro-1, but schoolwork is more important so I told him not to worry about it.”

 

“Well I definitely don't envy him,” Fai says, wondering how long he can skirt around the raid invitation.  “Makes me glad I’m finished with all my homework for good.”

 

Kurogane lifts his eyebrows.  “What did you study?”

 

Fai mentally kicks himself for providing an opening but his smile doesn’t falter.  He props his elbows on the counter and leans his chin on his hands. “ _Chemistry~_ ” he says in the most syrupy voice he can manage, batting his eyelashes for good measure.  He dodges the resulting swipe towards his head, laughing loudly at the bright red creeping up Kurogane’s neck and face.

 

“Go fuck yourself,” Kurogane says halfheartedly.  “Stop distracting me. I need backup for the Ro-1.  At least help me keep an eye on the phase changes if you’re not going to fight it directly.  The rewards will help Xiaolang catch up to my gear level.”

 

Fai is annoyed that Kurogane is _learning_ ; he won’t do a stupid favour for the other man, but he does have a soft spot for Xiaolang.  “Fine, I’ll help,” he says begrudgingly, plucking darts off the dartboard to use as improvised weaponry.  It’s not like he still has any of his old gear now that he runs a café.

 

Kurogane explains the trial mechanics on their way to the Ryanban’s Castle.  The Ro-1 is a Kiishimu like Fai correctly predicted weeks ago. Defeating it is simple in theory; striking the gem on its forehead enough times will free it from the Ryanban’s control, successfully ending the trial and allegedly leading to a satisfying cutscene of the Ryanban being devoured by “a void or something”.  Unfortunately, getting into melee range at all is the difficult part; this particular Kiishimu is extremely strong with illusions, able to change the map terrain between phases and creating _absurd_ amounts of acid.

 

“I so look forward to being melted by acid rain,” Fai says dryly.

 

Kurogane rolls his eyes, but throws his cloak at Fai’s head.  “Wear that and stop complaining. Just find a corner to stand in and I’ll tank the Kiishimu so it won’t attack you.”

 

“How sweet of you.”  Fai puts the cloak on; it’s comically large.  “You know what’d be sweeter? If I didn’t have to go anywhere near acid in the first place.”

 

“Do you _have_ to be so fucking annoying all the time?!”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

The fight actually goes well.  Fai provides support at range, covering Kurogane’s blind spots by destroying acid orbs before they get too close to him.  He never did this particular trial, but the mechanics feel similar to ones he’s seen before; he manages to keep himself out of trouble pretty easily by relying on reflex and muscle memory.

 

Then it reaches the final phase.

 

“This _really_ sucks, Kuro-tan!” Fai shouts, doing his best impression of a panicking frog.  He vows to complain to Tsukuyomi the next time he sees her, because this map design is _ridiculous_ and the person who created it must be a sadist.  Out of darts a long time ago, he continues jumping from one thin rock formation to another, narrowly dodging acid.  And acid. _And more acid_.

 

“If you don’t have something useful to say,” Kurogane shouts back, desperately batting at massive acid orbs with Souhi _and_ its scabbard, “then shut up and let me focus!”

 

Fai feels the immediate urge to do the exact opposite of what Kurogane asks.  “You are being _very mean_ to the person who could be at home right now getting drunk instead of doing this the-floor-is-lava-just-kidding-it’s-acid bullshit —”

 

“ _Move, you idiot!_ ”

 

But it’s too late; Fai isn’t fast enough to avoid the Kiishimu’s attack.  Then he’s falling into the pool of acid at the bottom of the arena and his consciousness viciously narrows down to _fuck fuck fuck it hurts it fucking hurts so much_.  He wonders if he passes out from the pain because the trial is over when he can finally think clearly again.

 

And Kurogane looks more furious than Fai can ever remember seeing.  “Why didn’t you fucking _pay attention_ and _dodge_?”

 

Fai finds himself thinking _maybe I wanted to know how it felt_ and mentally recoils.  “Seems like I don’t make a very good kiji hunter,” he says cheerfully, forcing the words out.  His vision is still a bit disconcertingly swimmy. “I guess we lost?”

 

“What — that’s not the point!”  Kurogane tries to help Fai stand up, then curses when the other man’s ankle gives out.

 

“I thought the point of doing these raids was winning,” Fai wheezes.  Fuck, his leg _really_ hurts.  He doesn’t protest when Kurogane hefts him onto a broad shoulder like the sacks of flour he keeps making him deliver to the café.  Not-walking seems like a fantastic option, dignity be damned.

 

“I don’t fucking care about the kiji,” Kurogane snaps. “I can always fight it again later.  But you fucked up your leg because you’re an idiot that won’t fight properly even though you know how to.  Do you fucking _enjoy_ getting yourself killed?”

 

Fai doesn’t answer.  There’s a reason why he stopped participating in dangerous combat years ago, despite obtaining the most difficult title for high level mages in Outo.

 

Kurogane angrily refuses to speak to him on the way back to the Cat’s Eye.

 

*

 

Fai isn’t sure what changes after the failed Ro-1 raid, but Kurogane grows even more… persistent.  About _absolutely everything_ .  He finds himself cornered on increasingly frequent occasions by a surly ninja intent on poking and prodding at things that _he should leave alone_

 

Princess and Xiaolang notice the growing tension and wisely avoid mentioning it.  Mokona, being an AI, unfortunately lacks some tact. “Mokona thinks the dads should kiss and make up,” she says sagely before Xiaolang can tackle her and carry her out of Souhi’s reach.

 

The thing is, Fai knows that Kurogane is trying to help in his own stupid, bullheaded way.  He knows that Kurogane cares; he doesn’t want him to. Fai is beyond helping and it’s a waste of time for someone to invest their undeserved kindness in him.  He’s a miserable shell of a person and he doesn’t need someone else constantly reminding him about it by hounding him for answers to questions he doesn’t want to fucking think about.

 

Today’s argument starts because Fai forgets his the keys to the Cat’s Eye.  “I need to find my keys,” he says immediately after realizing his pockets are lighter than they should be, stomach twisting in anxious knots.

 

Kurogane looks at him oddly.  “You’re lucky the kids and meatbun are watching the café.”

 

That makes things worse.  Fai needs to have his keys.  “I’m going back.” He feels Kurogane grab onto his arm and resists the urge to angrily yank it away. “Let go of me.”

 

Kurogane doesn’t let go. “You can just go get your keys later.  You don’t have to beat yourself up over it.”

 

Fai clenches his teeth; he imagines his smile is a bit ghastly, locked into place as stiff as it is, but his eyes are closed so he doesn't have to look at Kurogane's reaction.  He bites back the urge to scream _it's not about the keys it's about how I'm stupid and careless and that keeps getting people hurt it's not really about fucking keys_ _it’s about how I’m a fucking curse and people should stay away from me_.

 

“Can you stop fucking _smiling_ like that instead of admitting that you’re not feeling fine?” Kurogane snaps impatiently.

 

Fai finally loses his temper. “Maybe when you fucking _mind your own business_.”  He rips his arm away from Kurogane.

 

*

 

The next day at 7:00am, Fai says “Good morning, Kurogane” and pretends he doesn't see the other man flinch.  

 

*

 

_ >> [Kurogane] What is your problem? _

 

_ >> [Kurogane] Stop fucking ignoring me. _

 

_ >> I stopped calling Kurogane nicknames. _

_ >> [Yuuko] Fai… _

_ >> [Yuuko] Is that really what you want? _

_ >> Yes. _

_ >> I should never have gotten close in the first place. _

_ >> [Yuuko] I know what you’re trying to do but it’s not going to work. _

_ >> I’m fine. _

 

_ >> [Princess] Fai, are you okay? _

_ >> I’m fine. _

 

_ >> [Xiaolang] I know you and Kurogane aren’t on the best terms right now. _

_ >> [Xiaolang] If it’s awkward, we can stop visiting for a while? _

_ >> No, we’d miss you. _

_ >> And I know you want to see Princess. _

_ >> [Xiaolang] If you’re sure… _

_ >> I’m fine. _

 

_ >> [Princess] If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. _

_ >> [Princess] You’ve done so much for me. _

_ >> I’m fine. _

 

_ >> [Kurogane] What are you so afraid of? _

 

*

 

He’s afraid of forgetting the reason why he’s even here.  He’s afraid that if he stops, he’ll have nothing left. He’s afraid that people will realize he’s just a shitty imitation and leave him.  He’s more afraid that they won’t.

 

*

 

“It’s rare for you to come find me nowadays,” Fai says, voice brittle.  He’s being honest; Kurogane usually avoids him recently. They have an awkward arrangement of tense silences and speaking only when they need to get things done.  It’s extremely unbearable.

 

Kurogane is angry again.  Both of them are angry very often lately.  “I know you hate me,” he starts.

 

 _I don’t_ , Fai thinks bitterly, _and that’s the problem_.

 

“And I know you don’t want to fucking talk to me.  But there’s something I found out that I don’t understand at all.”

 

“You don’t seem to understand many things, Kurogane,” Fai says pointedly.  He’s tired of having this conversation over and over.

 

“Why are you impersonating someone who’s dead?”

 

Fai freezes.

 

“I went to visit my parents’ graves.”  Kurogane’s voice is so calm that Fai thinks he wants to hit him.  “Then I happened to see another tombstone and it had your Outo username on it: Fai Fluorite.  I thought that was strange so I looked it up, and you look exactly like the real Fai. Can you explain to me why?”

 

Kurogane is angry, so angry, and Fai feels himself irreversibly falling apart.

 

“I knew you were dealing with problems,” Kurogane says in that awful quiet fury.  “I don’t know what the hell you’re running away from, but pretending to be someone who’s fucking _dead_?  That’s fucked up.  That’s way more fucked up than I thought you were capable of.”

 

“ _Stop._ ”

 

Kurogane slams his fist against the wall.  “ _Why_ are you doing this to yourself?  Why are you using so much effort for a fucking _lie_?!”

 

“This is fucking _Outo_.”  Fai is vaguely aware that he sounds angry despite feeling like he’s hardly even there any more.  “Everything’s fake here anyways. It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Then why do you fight so hard to keep it?” Kurogane snarls. “This lie you've built — that's what's fake.  But you care about the kids! You care about the other people you met here! So why are you holding onto your fucking bullshit when you can have something now that's _real_.”

 

“ _Because I have to!_ ” Fai shouts.  He gestures violently at the Cat’s Eye, with its desserts, its patterned cups, its large windows, its pockmarked dartboard, its stash of alcohol, its piano that he can’t play as well as someone else.  “This is how things should be! Isn’t that the whole point? ‘Welcome to Outo, the country of cherry blossoms! Make your dreams a reality.’ It’s the fucking slogan.”

 

( _What are you so afraid of?_ )

 

“Well maybe my dream isn’t to be a fucking ninja like you,” Fai says, shaking.  “Maybe I just want to have a fucking _normal life_ because he should have had it in the first place.”  He logs out before he does something stupid like cry.

 

*

 

_Are you sure you would like to uninstall Outo Online?_

 

> YES

 

*

 

“Hello?  Mr. Fluorite?”

 

“Sakura!  It’s rare for you to call instead of texting me. Is everything alright?”

 

“Yes!  I… I wanted to ask how you were doing, actually.  You haven’t logged in for weeks, so I thought...”

 

“... I just didn’t feel like playing. I’m fine.”

 

“... I’ve been taking care of Cat’s Eye for you!”

 

“Thank you.  Sorry, that must be a lot of work alone.”

 

“I’m alright!  People have been helping.  Xiaolang asked me to say hello and he hopes you’ll feel better soon.  I think Mokona is bored because you’re not around to do silly things with her.  K—”

 

“Please say hello to Xiaolang for me.  It’s sweet that he’s worried.”

 

“Mr. F—”

 

“And if Mokona is bored, then maybe she’d like to go back to Yuuko’s for a while?  I think she misses the other Mokona.”

 

“Fai.”

 

“...”

 

“Kurogane is very worried about you.”

 

“He shouldn’t bother.”

 

“... We all miss you.  If you want to talk to someone, we’re here for you.  You’re our friend.”

 

“Sorry Sakura, I need to work on some lesson plans for another student.  Can we talk later?”

 

“... Alright.  Please take care of yourself.”

 

*

 

The story is about misfortune: the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

Fai comes home from Italy, happy and excited to reunite with his only family after years apart because of his culinary studies.  He stays in his brother’s apartment until he can find his own place, though they both think that it's not so bad being together again and wouldn't mind keeping it that way for a bit longer.  

 

His brother swears that the apartment used to be better, back when the bathroom light didn’t flicker, when the kitchen sink didn't leak every other week, when the windows didn't rattle loosely as if they wanted to flee their frames.  But the apartment is theirs; his brother makes paintings of cats that their lease won’t allow, Fai practices the piano on an electric keyboard they bought at a garage sale, and they both run out of space for their alarmingly large collection of books and potted plants.

 

They often talk about future aspirations. His brother wants to be a chemistry teacher.  Fai wants to open a café. Both of them want to leave their small town and see more of the world.  His brother reminisces about the time they went to Fairy Park when they were children, with the big ferris wheel that both of them enjoyed, and mentions that he wouldn’t mind going back to Edonis some day. Fai doesn’t mind where they go as long as they are happy.  They make a promise to go together.

 

His brother forgets the keys when running to the store, so Fai leaves the front door unlocked.  He idly rehearses a small lecture in his head as he sweeps the kitchen floor. It’d be a halfhearted one at best, and more of a teasing jab about the fact that his brother hasn’t changed much since they were children. It isn’t the first time keys are forgotten, so Fai doesn’t find it unusual that their apartment door opens without a knock.

 

But the man who enters isn’t his brother.

 

Fai recognizes him from long-deleted photographs and immediately asks him to leave.  He doesn't know how the man found this apartment but he doesn't want his brother to be hurt any more.  There was enough heartbreak the first time.

 

The man grows angry.   _You’re why he doesn’t love me!  I only wanted to make him jealous, but you thought I was being serious and you ruined everything!_

 

Fai realizes that the man mistakes him for his brother.  He wonders where his phone is, doesn’t think he’ll be able to get it fast enough, doesn’t think he’d have time to call anyone.  Maybe one of the neighbours will call the police instead. He hopes that his brother doesn’t come home. Not yet. Not now.

 

_It’s all your fucking fault!_

 

Fai doesn’t correct him.  Even if he had time to, instead of fighting for his life, he doesn’t think he would tell the man that he is attacking the wrong person.  His brother is the most important person to him in the world. If he has to choose between his brother’s safety or his own, then —

 

The man shoves too hard.

 

Fai’s back hits the kitchen window.

 

It comes loose like his brother always joked it would.

 

Fai thinks of Fairy Park as he falls: a promise he won’t be able to keep. _I’m sorry I couldn’t go with y—_

 

*

 

The story is about a ghost who runs home only to find his body bloody and broken.  Later, he’ll remember wailing sirens and flashing lights, a painfully familiar man being handcuffed and led away, a disembodied voice that sounds like his own which mechanically answers questions he cares little about.  ( _Yes. Yes, I know him.  No, I stopped seeing him months ago.  No, I wasn’t here when —_ )

 

Most of all, the ghost remembers staring and staring and staring into his own unblinking and unseeing eyes, glassy and accusing and violently blue. They stare back as if to ask: _why are you over there, instead of here with me?_

 

The ghost wonders why he is left adrift and alone when he should be properly dead.

 

*

 

_Welcome back to City Hall, Big Kitty!  How may we assist you today?_

 

> NAME CHANGE

 

_Are you sure?_

 

> YES

 

_What would you like to change your username to?_

 

> FAI FLUORITE

 

*

 

He isn’t sure why he installs Outo Online again.  Maybe it’s guilt; there’s certainly more than enough of it.  He was terrible to everyone.

 

>> _Can we talk?_

_ >> Please. _

 

The Cat’s Eye is closed but everything is still clean; Sakura really did take care of it for him.  Her kindness hurts, like always.

 

_ >> [Kurogane] Where? _

_ >> Cat’s Eye _

_ >> [Kurogane] Coming. _

 

He isn’t sure why he’s doing anything any more.  He’s so tired.

 

Kurogane lets himself in when he arrives.  Apparently he owns a spare key now. He doesn’t say anything when he enters.  Just sits in his usual seat.

 

 _It’s not even 7:00am_.  It’s a nonsensical thought.  He’s tired of silence so he punches Kurogane in the head before he can think better of it.

 

“What the _fuck_ —”

 

“Payback, Kuro-sama,” he says, knuckles smarting.  “Because you were a fucking asshole about my dead brother, even if you didn’t do it on purpose.”

 

Kurogane picks himself up off the ground.  “Did you actually want to talk, or did you just want to hit me?”

 

“The punching was an impulsive decision,” he admits.  “I got it out of my system now.” He sits next to Kurogane, wondering if it’s the first time they did this.  Normally they’re across from each other.

 

“So.  Fai was your brother?”

 

Past tense still hurts.  He figures he should stop avoiding it.  “Fai and I were identical twins. That’s how we shared the same Outo account.”

 

Kurogane makes a quiet noise of surprise.  “The game would just think you’re the same user if you got past the voice recognition too.”

 

He nods.  “It wasn’t hard.  We preferred to play with the same account anyways, since we were in different timezones.  It was a nice way to stay connected. We could leave each other fun surprises in the game. Fai liked cooking in Outo too.  I used to tease him for crafting food when he was a real chef already, and then he’d sneak sour things into the virtual food he’d save for me as revenge.”

 

He smiles weakly out of habit.  “I made fun of him for it but I was really happy.  I could eat his food, even when we were far apart. I don’t remember if I ever thanked him properly and now I can’t.”

 

Kurogane’s face is hard to read.  “Does anyone else know this?”

 

He shakes his head silently.

 

“... I lost my arm in a fire when I was just a kid.  It was the same fire that ended up killing my parents.  I was resentful and... lost, I guess. But Tomoyo helped me when I was grieving.”  Kurogane grows quiet. “You didn’t have anyone to help you, right?”

 

He didn’t.  When Fai died, he had nobody left.  “I feel so stupid,” he whispers. “I know I’ve been stupid.  I didn’t know what else to do.”

 

“You did what you could to survive,” Kurogane says firmly.  “But I think you’re ready to leave this curse you made for yourself.  You’re strong and deserve more than this, even if you don’t believe it.”

 

He doesn’t believe it.  But he wants to. He really, really wants to.  “I’ll… try.”

 

Kurogane seems satisfied with his answer.  “So what’s your actual name? And if you give me crap about Outo username etiquette again I _will_ deck you,” he adds.

 

“... Yuui.”  It feels strange to say after avoiding it for so long.

 

“Youou.”  Kurogane snorts at Yuui’s surprise.  “Tomoyo has been badgering me about being politer while you haven’t been around to do it.”

 

“Is it working?”

 

“Fuck no.”

 

(Yuui missed this.  He’s glad that he decided to come back.)

 

*

 

“Why did you even ask me for my name if you’re still not going to use it?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

*

 

Yuui asks if they can go to Fairy Park for their first meeting in person.  He suggests that they find each other in front of the ferris wheel since it’s such an easy landmark.  Youou doesn’t question him about the chosen destination, for which he was grateful.

 

They spot each other unsurprisingly quickly.

 

“Your eyes aren’t red,” Yuui says a little stupidly.  He promptly wants to find a hole to bury himself in. His face feels like it’s on fire.

 

Youou unsuccessfully hides a snort.  “Sorry to disappoint you for having boring brown eyes in real life.”  He folds his arms, forehead creasing slightly in thought. “... Huh. Your eyes actually _do_ look that blue.”

 

If Yuui wasn’t noticeably blushing before, he is _now_.  At least he isn’t alone in that regard.  “Can you come with me to the ferris wheel?  I don’t… want to go alone. But I think I need to go on it.”  He is relieved when Youou nods. It feels strange that he’s the one asking for things, and Youou stopped asking for so much.  Strange, but not bad.

 

Maybe they learned from each other.

 

“I used to come here a lot as a kid,” Youou comments when their gondola nears the top.  “I liked the view. Felt like I could go anywhere.”

 

“Fai and I liked the view too,” Yuui admits quietly.  “We planned to come back together.” He looks past the glass to the distant lights of Fairy Park and beyond.  “I… think he’d forgive me for not taking him with us, right?”

 

“If he loved you as much as you love him,” Youou says carefully, “then I think he would.”

 

One trip to Fairy Park doesn’t solve everything.  The future still seems overwhelmingly empty, even though he is thinking of trying to become a teacher again.  He’s still achingly lonely because of Fai’s death and always will be, even though he knows that he isn’t alone any more.  But Yuui’s heart feels a tiny bit lighter on the final way down, and it’s… something better.

 

Youou offers his left hand; Yuui accepts it.  When they leave the ferris wheel, their fingers are laced together.

 

*

 

It starts with this: a small café that becomes a home, full of laughter and love, family unrelated by blood.

 

And with this: nicknames that betray a playful fondness, and true names tucked away as secrets and reminders of trust.

 

And this: a man in an artificial city hall, there to write a different name for a third time, with a quiet determination to start a new life.

  
This is where a new story starts: a happy confession — _I think I love him —_ whispered to his twin as he places cherry blossoms by his feet.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I would greatly appreciate it if you voted for my fic on the KuroFai Dreamwidth community. Please read the other writers’ fics too, everyone worked very hard! [Vote here!](https://kurofai.dreamwidth.org/114220.html) Instructions are included in the DW post. Please note that if you do not have a DW account you must have some sort of social media link for your vote to be valid!
> 
> Title card was commissioned from my friend dylogger on Tumblr to motivate myself into writing.


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